Does the introduction provide a clear thesis that is precise, relevant to a chosen primary text, and debatable?

The revised essay should meet the following requirements:
Opens with an appropriate title that hooks readers.
Leads with a one-sentence thesis statement (highlighted) that flows from the introduction.
Uses attributive phrasing that introduces quoted material and avoids plagiarism.
Includes only brief, appropriate quotes.
Uses punctuation marks around all quotes.
Utilizes in-text citations to indicate the start and end of all direct or indirect references.
Achieves logos through the deployment of authoritative evidence.
Begins each body paragraph in a topic sentence.
Meets the required minimum length.
Reflects MLA format in the documentation of in-text citations and bibliography.
Follows each quote or indirect reference with an insightful synthesis.
Includes a bibliography.
Uses correct grammar and mechanics.
Meets the length expectation of the assignment.
Additional:
Please revise the title to make it more concise and inviting.
Highlight the thesis statement, not the whole introduction.

Format: You should double-space, use 1-inch margins, and Times New Roman 12 point font. Save your file as a .doc or .docx or as RTF file type.

Others:
Content/Development
1. Does the introduction provide a clear thesis that is precise, relevant to a chosen primary text, and debatable?
2. Does the paper use credible research sources, including peer review articles?
3. Does the conclusion flow from a cohesive and well-supported argument?
4. Has the writer properly acknowledged sources by use of in-text citation?
5. Does the works-cited page contain at least eight secondary sources, and does the documentation adhere to MLA protocol?
Coherence/Arrangement/Clarity
1. Are the writers ideas presented in a logical way that guides readers through a consistent argument, paragraph by paragraph?
2. Does each paragraph have a topic sentence that is consistent with the main thesis statement? If the topic sentence of the paragraph is a distraction from the thesis, then you should suggest how the writer might revise the sentence to re-align the paragraph?
3. Do individual paragraphs seem arranged in a meaningful, coherent sequence?